From: "B.D." <nospam@nospam.net> Newsgroups: comp.software.year-2000 Subject: BIG BUG... Date: Fri, 02 Oct 1998 12:58:21 -0400 Organization: DEALL Message-ID: <6v30m8$oa9$1@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
Firebringer News Service (FBNS) - Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.
As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks, that number will roll over to 100GB.
McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the signs have only two decimal places.
This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.
The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.
"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really scared of 100GB," one expert said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the hills."
From: "adude" <adude@ix.netcom.com> Newsgroups: comp.software.year-2000 Subject: 99G problem (was Re: BIG BUG...) Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1998 10:40:01 -0700 Organization: ICGNetcom Message-ID: <6v337a$942@dfw-ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>
This is indeed a serious problem. After giving the matter considerable thought, I have arrived at a solution that would essentially quadruple their capacity. They should proceed from Burger 99G using hexadecimal. I'm confident the signs have the pixel power. Therefore, my solution is to go from 99 dec to 64 hex, and run TV commercials to explain to Joe Six Pack that the value has been converted.
From: Joe Lakey <jhlakey@gocal.corp.fedex.com> Newsgroups: comp.software.year-2000 Subject: Re: 99G problem (was Re: BIG BUG...) Date: Sat, 03 Oct 1998 12:14:19 -0500 Message-ID: <36165B6B.EEF7D56D@gocal.corp.fedex.com>
NO NO NO people! You're looking at this all wrong. The sign is only the display. It's easily fixed by duct-taping a big ol' "1" in front of the number. The problem is in how the GigaBurgers are computed. One could surmise that every time a pimply-faced Spice Girls fan pushes the little picture of a hamburger, somewhere a counter clicks.
Now, does anyone have any first-hand knowledge of how this counter really works? The last thing we need is more wild speculation or debate about the morality of the HamBurgler.
My own personal assessment is that we'll be ok. Mac OS is said to be B1T (Burger One Trillion) compliant, and everyone knows that McDonald's is the home of the Big Mac.
From: lepton.nospam@vnet.net (CD) Newsgroups: comp.software.year-2000 Subject: Re: Solutions to the 99G Problem! Message-ID: <36176e2d.1071410@166.82.1.9>
More BS from McDonald's PR:
At McDonald's, we are aware of the scope of the technical problems facing our signage in the future. We are confident that we will meet this challenge, and that there will be few if any disruptions is the fast food supply.
Our remediation strategy consists of three phases: 1) Assessment, 2)Remediation, and 3)Testing.
- Assessment - We are currently assessing our signs for 100GB compliance, and isolating mission-critical systems to deal with first. We expect to complete this phase by Oct. 31, 1998.
- Remediation - After we have assessed our signs, we will concentrate on burger field expansion and contingency plans. One of the proposed contingency plans involves the store manages gluing a piece of paper over the burger field. This is a temporary fix at best, but will insure a stable burger supply.
- Testing - We are planning to test our signs for 100GB compliance in a rollover test, where we will simulate the sale of the one hundred billionth burger.
We are confident that all of our systems will be ready for 100GB, being either 100GB compliant, 100GB functional or 100GB ready.
We will have a full staff on hand at all times after the 99GB burger, to ensure that no problems are encountered during the rollover. The Hamburglar himself is overseeing our SS (Sign Systems) remediation efforts.
Rest assured that there will be burgers for all after the 100 billionth sale.
Thank you,
Ronald McDonald
The FOOLS. Don't they realize that ONE break in the supply chain could lead to a complete burger collapse? Sure, they've got the beef, but what's a burger without a pickle? How many pickles can they have in reserve?
Don't they realize that it can take up to 600% of the normal power required to restart a black heat lamp?
I am buying a propane grill and moving to Montana. I wouldn't be in a city of over 5,000 people on 100GB for anything. There will be runs on McDonald's as people are trying to hoard burgers and McNuggets, for that matter. Current estimates put the liquid burger reserves at SIX PERCENT! Do you think those cashiers aren't gonna stock up? If you're not one of that first six percent, you're TOAST. The FBIC (Federal Burger Insurance Corporation) couldn't handle the collapse of 10% of McDonald's, much less a whole fast food infrastructure breakdown.
Are YOU ready?
CD