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From: "John Galt" <consulting@NOSPAMc7.com>
Newsgroups: comp.software.year-2000
Subject: TERTIARY CLOCKS
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 1999 15:02:51 -0400
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Now that the dangers of SECONDARY CLOCKS have been exposed, the time has
come to expose an even greater menace: the TERTIARY CLOCK.  This little
known but omnipresent CLOCK exists in almost every modern chip produced!

Its function is entirely internal - to allow electrons in each chip know
what time it is.  It seems that after we started using computers to design
computers, somehow the electrons managed to sneak some design features to
suit their own ends, including TERTIARY CLOCKS.

A top Intel manager stated that if there were no TERTIARY CLOCKS then the
electrons wouldn't know what time it was - and would continue to work 24x7
as orignally planned. "Let's face it, electrons aren't that bright" he said
(although his office later denied the statement).

A statment released today by the Electron's Union Local 80586 said that
"expecting electrons to work a 24 hour day is inhumane" and that "electrons
have rights too, and that includes lunch and coffee breaks, as well as
holidays and time off.  If such treatment continues, all unionized electrons
will go on strike on Jan 1, 2000, and computers and electrical equipment
will cease to function".

Intel has said that it will cost billions to re-design its entire chip line
in order to accommodate the electron's demands such as: providing larger
living areas, more rest time, and more holiday time to allow travel on the
internet.  "It's like a city in there" an anonymous chip designer told us,
and "continued miniturization has led to unbearably cramped working
conditions for electrons, while increased processor speeds have been forcing
electrons to work harder".

:-) JG